Fifteen years later..........

and the pain is still there. The pain of a broken heart. The pain I wish I never would have experienced. The pain that was so easily seen on all of our faces. The pain that only somebody who has walked in our shoes would understand. Fifteen years ago today we learned our sixth child, third daughter, had strangled on her cord and died in utero. I wished God would have taken me and spared her life. I blamed myself. I wanted to die. I went into a depression. I begged for my husband to just let me go. My husband refused to give up on me and our family. Fifteen years later and not a day goes by that I don't think of my daughter and what could have been. The pain has never gone away, but my precious daughter continues to send me signs that she is okay and that makes the pain more tolerable. Somebody sent this poem to me 15 years ago and it is very true. To my husband-Thank you for continuing to fight for us when you were grieving so bad yourself. Our children are lucky to have you as their dad and I am honored to be your wife.


I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown

Life in the south

Wow, it has been quite awhile since I last posted. This moving thing sure is taking up a lot of my time. We are slowly but surely getting the boxes unpacked. The weather has been absolutely amazing. I am in the process of deciding on curtains for the majority of our rooms. I completed the kitchen today and am very pleased with the outcome. I found a store down here called the Classy Flea. It is kind of like an indoor flea market, but more upscale. It is a very eclectic type place and their prices are downright affordable. Today we picked up a new kitchen table and 4 chairs for 100 dollars!!!!!!!!! I go there about 2 times a week because they are always getting in new stuff. Work is going well. We continue to be impressed with the friendliness of the south. David is enjoying his new store. The boys are adjusting to their new home. Jeff came for a visit last weekend and we had a blast. Martha is liking her new home, too. There are a lot more bulldogs down here including one just 4 doors up from us. Will post more and pictures when I have the time.

Birthday, Moving, Car Blow Ups,and Bugs oh my!

Fisrt of all, Miss Jennifer Lynn Huntowski turned the ripe old age of 24 last Friday. I really missed not being there for her celebration, but it sounded like her dad and brother gave her a proper celebration. I am very proud of Jennifer and all she is doing to try and make a better life for herself. Oh, and if you don't know, Huntowski is the Polish way of spelling Hunt:) Jennifer we love you and miss you. We moved into our house last Friday and things are going well. We currently have 2 air mattresses, a small sofa type bed, 2 camping chairs a tv and a computer to keep us entertained. While we had no complaints about our temporary housing, being able to have more then one room sure is nice. We are very excited for Daddy and Steve to be joining us at the end of this week!!!!!!!!!!! David and I will be working a stones throw away from each other. We didn't plan it that way, but are glad that it did. A little bit of a downer is that David's car died on him last night. Today did not reveal very good news. Apparently he "threw a bearing from his engine" which I have been told is not good. He initially had it towed to a repair shop, but had to then have it towed to Hyundai to see if it will be covered under warranty. If is is not covered under warranty, the cost to fix it will be about $5000.00. Gulp! If the expense is on him, he will be getting a different car. His car is only a 2006 with 86000 miles, so way too young to have this happen. And last but not least. the bugs!!! I forgot how much bigger the bugs grow in the south. Because our house sat vacant for 4 months, I think the bugs feel they own the place. I am talking 3-4 inch bettle type bugs that scare the bejeebers our of me. Of course doing the single parenting thing means I have to stay positive and kill the buggers, all the while wanting to cry. We have made huge progress in this department. I think I have sprayed enough anti bug toxins around the house to kill a small army. This night I found only three of them in the house, on their backs, struggling to try and come back to life. I LOVE the fact that they die a slow painful, paralyzing death. They like to come out at night and I see them walking aournd outside. According to my peeps at work you just have to learn to live with them.........we'll see about that. Over all life in Georgia is going well. I can't wait to be reunited with my husband and turn the bug killing duties over to him.

And we are moving to.................

The state that has the cherokee rose for its states flower.
The state that has the brown thrasher as its state bird.
The state that is the number one producer of the three P's: Peanuts, Pecans and Peaches.
The state that I officially graduated high school in.
The state where Uga resides.
The state that boasts naked dogs.
Ok, you probably figured it out by now. Yes, we are moving to Georgia!!!! We are still nailing down a definite date, but the packing and pitching has begun. Currently there is more pitching being done than packing. I think I liked it better when we moved more often. We have accumulated a lot of "stuff" in the 10 years we have been here. We are thankful that David has access to a dumpster at work as he has been taking a lot of the trash with him. While we are excited about our new adventure, I must say that I will miss my team at work. I finally broke the news to them last week and two of my full timers broke down in tears. They have been very loyal to me and I hope my replacement will continue to see the potential in them. I will update as soon as we have a definite date to move.

WOW!

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last update. A lot has happened in that month. Let's see.......Angela and Nehemiah arrived safely, Grandma arrived shortly after them, Janet and Matt arrived shortly after Grandma, Brian graduated from high school, Janet and Matt left, Grandma left a few days after them, and Angela and Nehemiah left a few days after Grandma. I will be dedicating a post to Brian's graduation as soon as I can figure out how to upload the pics from a disc. On the very same day that Angela arrived, I broke a toe on my right foot which landed me out of work for a month. I went back to work for a week and then we headed on our vacation to North Carolina and Florida!!!! We had a great time. We visited the UNC Asheville campus and it was love at first sight. I haven't seen an infinite number of campuses, but this one is the best I have ever seen. Again, I will have to post vacation pictures at a later date. Oh yeah, and the mascots for UNC Asheville is none other than a bulldog!!!!!!!!!!!! While I was in NC I interviewed for a transfer position. I really was not happy with the position they were slotting me for, so I applied to another store in NC that has an opening in the logistics department. The story does not end here as David now has the possibility of a job in Nashville, or Atlanta. I am so emotionally and physically drained at the present time. The good news is any of these locations in just four hours away from UNC Asheville so Jeff would still be able to come home on long weekends, breaks, etc. Hopefully within the next two weeks this will all be sorted out. It has to be because it is driving me insane.

Saying goodbye.......

........ Is so very hard to do. Today I said goodbye to Angela and Nehemiah. When she originally told me she was coming for 18 days, all I could think about was how much time we would have together. When the last time you saw your oldest daughter was 18 months ago, 18 days sounded like an eternity. I couldn't wait for their arrival and counted down the weeks, then days, then hours, and finally minutes. And just like that 18 days was here before we knew it. Why is it that the good times just fly by and the tough times seem to linger on? We had so much fun during her time here. I will forever remember the first kiss my grandson gave me. I will forever remember giving him a bath during a thunderstorm. The thunder scared him and he reached out for me to hold him, and he grabbed me around my neck with his little arms holding on for dear life. I will never forget the look on his face when he saw grandma had a "bark bark". I will never forget his running in the grass, splashing his little feet in the puddles after the rain, eating Oreos, playing with his aunt and uncles, trying grandma and grandpa's patience.......the list goes on. But, the number one thing I will never forget is seeing the love my daughter has for her son and the love he has for her. Angela, I am so proud of you. Thank you for allowing me to have 18 days of unlimited access to your son/my grandson. You are an amazing woman and I love you and Nehemiah more then you will ever know.

Happy Birthday Brian Daniel!

Oh my gosh, Brian Daniel Hunt is 18 years old today! I can not believe he is now a legal beagle! Brian continues to bring us so much joy. He graduates from high school in just one week and we couldn't be prouder. Brian is trying to decide between being a game designer, a novelist and or a historian!! I can not tell you how much fun it has been to be able to be his teacher for his junior and senior years. It has been so neat to watch him grow and learn. Brian, you are an amazing young man and an incredible friend. You have taught me so much about life, love and your dreams. There is no doubt that I am your biggest fan and I take that roll VERY seriously. I love you today, tomorrow and always. I love you to the moon and back and around the world a zillion times. Happy Birthday, Bridey Boy. May all your dreams come true:)

Counting down the days........

Car seat installed.......................check!
Stroller out of storage...............check!
Grandpa in the process of hanging toddler swing outside................check!
Sandbox cleaned out.......................check!
Thomas toys ready to be played with again................check!
Uncles plotting shenanigans to teach nephew.............double check!!
Valium ordered........................check (just kidding:)

This can only mean one thing........Nehemiah is coming to town and this grandma could not be more excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In just 4 days this crazy haired, cool dude will be in my arms. I can hardly contain myself!!!!!

Happy Easter.........

..........from our house to yours.

Happy Birthday, Stephen

Yes, it is official, I am getting old. My oldest "baby" is 27 today. I still remember his birth like it was yesterday. I mean how can you forget, "We are heading to the OR now to save your life and your babies life!" Scary times that produced a beautiful 10lb 14oz baby boy. Stephen, you are an amazing big brother and oldest son. You have such a kind heart and are always willing to lend a helping hand. Thank you for being the builder of all things needing to be put together. Thank you for setting up my Ipad and constantly updating my folders. Thanks, too, for always being willing to get me unstuck in Angry Birds:) I hope you enjoy your birthday and that this next year brings you nothing but happiness. I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you:)

Beating the Odds

If you are anything like me, you question what is going on with this world. It is so easy to stop believing when you turn on the tv and every channel is talking about this disaster, or this war, or this tough economy.........you get the picture. I have gotten to the point that I hate to turn on the tv. As most of you also know, I have a fish tank. I started out with 3 fish, and now have about 40. I was up to over 90, but due to some deaths and "thinning of the tank", I now have a more manageable number. I have had to learn to let the cycle of life go on as new babies are born into a tank of mean adults. I have learned I can't save the world of fish, and that is just a fact. Several weeks ago I cleaned out the tank and discovered a new baby in the tank. It was just barely visible to the naked eye. I carefully scooped him out of the tank and then put him in a cup. I debated about keeping him in the cup for awhile, but made the decision to put him back in the tank. If it was meant to be, he would survive. Secretly I prayed for this little fishies survival and actually dreaded going to look at the tank each day knowing I would no longer see my new little buddy. But every day, I would find him hidden in the little plastic algae tree I have in that tank. He would quickly come out to grab a bite of falling food and just as quickly head back into his plastic sanctuary. And everyday I prayed harder and harder for this little guy to survive. Well, that was three weeks ago and I am proud to say my little fighter made it!!!! He is swimming happily with all the "big meanies" in the tank. He or she is a fraction of their size and continues to grow each day. My little fish beat all the odds. Coincidence? I think not. I think a much mightier hand then yours or mine was clearly at work here.

Happy Birthday, Jill!

It's hard to believe that the girl I fell in love with in high school turns 50 today. I am constantly amazed by her. She has grown into a incredible woman. Jill is an outstanding mom whose dedication & commitment to our children has bless them all in countless ways. I have known her since we were both fifteen and her beauty still grows with each passing day. Today marks a milestone and the start of a new journey we'll take together. Thank you for all the joy you spread. Know today and each day that you are loved by us all. Happy Birthday Jill!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Today is my mom's birthday. My mom and I are very close. We have been on many adventures together and shared lots of laughs. And believe me when I say, when my mom cracks up at something it is a total laugh fest!!!! My mom is the best cook in the world. She is an awesome grandma. Thanks Mom, for always being there for your family. We love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday!!!!

A Quarter of a Century!

Oh, my gosh! Can you believe it? Angela Michelle turns 25 today! It seems like only yesterday that we welcomed our first born baby girl into the world. And now, that baby girl lives on the other side of the world with her husband and a son of her own. Angela, I wish we could be together to celebrate today. I hope Nehemiah gave you lots of extra special kisses. I hope this year is an especially good one for you. I hope it won't be too much longer that we will be able to be together for your birthday. I love you with all my heart and soul and want only the best for you. Happy Birthday, Baby Girl Hunt. You have accomplished a lot in just 25 years of life. Make sure you are taking some time to smell the flowers along the way.

Time for a change...........

After six days away from Target, lots of thinking, and lots of talking with the hubs, change is on its way. Details coming soon.

He's legal!!!

Today Jeffrey Peter Hunt will be celebrating his 21st birthday!! I can not put into words how much this boy means to our family. From the beginning, Jeffrey was an easy going child. Man, that boy was born with some amazing hair. He was also born with a very kind heart. Everybody should have a brother like Jeff. I wish I had a brother like Jeff. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to tick him off. There may or may not be an American Girl doll down in our basement with her hair removed by a very angry Jeff:) Jeff is an extremely talented musician and did his first solo gig not too long ago. Jeff, you are my friend, my confidant, your brothers hero, a prankster and an amazing man. I know your sister, ahem, Jen, does not always appreciate your jokes, but that's ok. I think they are hilarious. I can't wait to see you with Nehemiah in June and the shenanigans you will teach him. I wish for you nothing but the best. I am proud and honored to be your mom. Jepps, Jefferson, Jeffersonian, Jeffie, I love you to the moon and back and around the world a million times. Thank you for everything you do to not only help me but your siblings. Happy, Happy, Birthday.

Valentine's

My horrible, terrible, rotten no good day

This was me after I got off work today:

A very large part of my job is dealing with vendors. Let me tell you, it can drive one to the brink of insanity. Today was one such day. By the end of my shift all I wanted to was drive away from Target as fast as I could. I did drive home quickly to see my family. They made me laugh and smile and thank God once again for the miracles known as my children. But, God must have known I needed something more because I opened my email and received the cutest video ever from my daughter Angela, starring my grandson. Thank you Angela, Jennifer, Jeffrey, Brian, Stephen, Antonio and Nehemiah for always being the bright spots in my day. I love you all!

Bestill my heart

Yesterday I learned that a team member was promoted to a team lead. This particular team member just turned 21 and she will be handling the Health and Beauty section of our store. It seems like most of the brand new team leads start out in that area. I was walking past this team member last night and she told me she wanted to tell me something. I asked her what is was and here is what she said, "You know, I had to meet with our district manager as one of my interviews. He asked me which team lead at our store exemplifies Target and why. I told him hands down that is Team Lead Jill. I told him you are the most dedicated person I know. I told him that when you commit to something you get it done. I told him when somebody comes to you with a problem you don't just blow smoke at that person, you listen with concern and care and follow up and make sure the problem has been resolved." I was speechless. I could not believe that I had made such an impression on a 21 year old. I thanked her and told her I am there for her every step of the way. Wow, I am still blown away by her kind words.

I've adopted

Yes, you read that right. I felt there was enough love in my heart for just one more, so I decided to adopt a soldier serving overseas. My soldier's name is Chris, he is going to be 21 years old this year, and he is from Mississippi. He is the same age as Jeffrey. I am just finishing up my first letter and care package to him. I'm excited about my new "son". Did you know you can send a 40 lb. package to any APO address for just 12.75? I am sending him baby wipes. Sounds weird, I know, but they don't get to take showers everyday and the baby wipes help them to feel refreshed. So, tomorrow morning when you step into your shower to wash the stink off your body, please think of my new "son". Remember to say a prayer for him, too. And when you go to bed, say a prayer for him, too. For while we sleep in the comfort of our own beds, he is on the move in the middle of nowhere fighting for you and me.

Happy Birthday Antonio James!!!

Oh my gosh, I can hardly believe it! My "baby" is 12 years old today!!!!!! I can't believe that next year he will be a teenager!!!! Sigh. I'm getting old. Tony, T-man, Tonester as he is affectionately called at home, has a smile that can brighten the world. He continues to be a model student for his mom, um I mean teacher, and is wise beyond his years. He is the eternal optimist and peace maker of the family. Antonio, you truly are what keeps me young. You continue to educate me about all the interesting facts you learn. You are the apple of this family's eyes and we love you to pieces. I loved exploring all the countries with you on our cruise this past summer and finding weapons to add to your collection. I love you to infinity and beyond. Happy Birthday and enough of the mushy stuff, LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Janet

Well, today is my sister Janet's birthday. There are only two of us and we are thirteen years apart. Today she starts her 37th year on earth which means that in a couple of months I start my 50th! When I started college, she started kindergarten. Strange, I know. She was a HUGE Star Wars fan growing up. I will never forget running around town one Christmas hunting down the coveted Millenium Falcon for her. I will never forget the spring after she got the Millenium Falcon my car broke down. The tow truck finally came and she would NOT leave that toy in the car while it was being towed. It HAD to ride in the truck with us. Years later she passed on her beloved Star Wars collection to her nephew Stephen. Imagine the horror on my face when I walked into Steve's room one day and saw Darth Vader's head on Luke Skywalker's body! Steve was kind of like Syd in Toy Story and loved to recreate characters. Janet was a good sport about it, but never let Steve have any more of her toys:) Janet, I hope this year proves to be an especially happy one for you. Happy Birthday and don't forget to take some time to smell the flowers.

Good bye 2010

Hello 2011!!!!!!
It is hard to believe that 2010 is now in the history books. Overall it was not too bad of a year. Of course our highlight was celebrating 50 years of marriage for my parents aboard the Liberty of the Seas cruise ship. Not a day goes by that somebody doesn't mention something about that cruise. To say we had the time of our lives would be an understatement. We said a very tearful good bye to our grandson of eight weeks as he headed back to S. Korea with his mom and dad. I was able to have more days of remission for my fibromyalgia than I spent in pain. We had a record rainfall which caused our basement to flood and a room needing to be rebuilt. We welcomed a grandcat. We helped a daughter spread her wings and move into her own apartment. We celebrated a son graduating from community college. We cried, we laughed, we smiled, we frowned. We trudged along and somehow made it through another year. Hello 2011. A big year for our family. Two of the members of this crazy house turn the bit 5-0 this year and big celebrations are in the works. Another Hunt graduates from high school, and oh what a day that will be. A son turns 21. Another cruise is in the works. We will laugh, we will cry, we will smile and we will frown. We can't wait to see what's in store for us this year. Happy New Year to everybody and may you all be blessed with health, wealth and happiness.